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Baby Blues

Hey everyone!! It has been forever since I posted…I apologize. I honestly thought I’d have my life together by now and be back to posting daily. I’ve meant to…but the days have pretty much been blurs since Brooke arrived. I guess that’s what happens when you get zero sleep.

On the sleep front, things are getting better. She still wakes up about every 2-3 hours to eat which is rough, but I’ve been able to sleep more at night thanks to my husband and finally been able to nap during the day. I totally thought at first I’d be napping basically all day but those first two weeks, I could not fall asleep. I never had a problem napping before..I think it was the pressure I’d put on myself that I had to sleep. Finally, a few days ago, I fell asleep-thank God for naps.

Anyway, I titled this post “Baby Blues” because it’s something I was dealing with for the first few weeks and to some extent, still am. The reason I wanted to share it with you is because I haven’t heard much about it. The only things I’d ever hear were how overjoyed and happy new moms were (which is awesome..seriously). So, obviously, that’s what I expected. You’re so excited to have a baby for over 9 months..then you have her…you expect to be on cloud 9 right? I did, but I wasn’t.

Not feeling that overwhelming sense of joy made me really sad. I felt bad actually…like what was wrong with me? I should be happy!!

The feelings I did have were ones of fear and even sometimes regret. Like, what did I do? I’m not ready for this at all. I was also feeling trapped and somewhat isolated even though I had my husband and family around me. I hated these feelings. I say hated because most of these feelings have gone away by now-thank God.

I just felt like I was trapped now…stuck here, in my tiny house with this tiny person 24/7. In a way, I am…but I know now my husbands here to help me and we can and will get out (Brooke and I). I didn’t understand why I had these feelings because I knew newborns were a lot of work..everyone knows that! I knew she’d want to eat all the time and have a crazy sleep schedule…so why did I feel this way? It’s just so much easier beforehand to think “I’ll sleep when she sleeps.” Sounds so simple but it doesn’t always work out like that. Plus, I don’t want to sleep all day. I want to have a life.

The nurses did give me a heads up that you might feel the “baby blues” for about 2 weeks after giving birth, so I knew I could blame hormones, but it didn’t make it any easier. Crazy hormones coupled with zero sleep is never good.

Like, I said, I just wanted to talk about my experience because I assume others have gone through the same thing? I’ve just never heard about it. It seemed to me that most people I know who have had a baby were beyond thrilled-never sad.

Today, I feel much better. I still get overwhelmed and cry sometimes but that’s gotta be normal right? For the most part, I feel pretty good…just trying to get back to normal. Today I’m actually going to try to get to the gym for a little bit which will feel awesome.

Brooke is beautiful and a great baby. I never want to feel anger towards her because she’s a baby…she needs us.

Speaking of Brooke, I just heard what had to be a major poop so I should sign off. I’ll try to get back to posting regularly!! I miss it!

 

If you’ve had a baby (or know people who have), have you experienced any sort of baby blues?

15 comments to Baby Blues

  • Melissa M

    Hang in there! I think all moms go through the baby blues. The lack of sleep plays a huge role. The hardest thing for me with both kids was to allow people to help me. I wanted to do it all! I would force myself to get up and actually get ready and get out of the house. Being couped up every day makes things harder. My biggest advice is dont be affraid to ask for help!

  • My kids are 7 and 4 and I swear, I still get the baby blues from time to time. Having a child is a life changing event!! Granted, for the most part it is a WONDERFUL one but there are many times it is completely overwhelming.

    After I had my 1st child, I thought life would be roses. I would be skinny and taking my cute baby on shopping trips during maternity leave. Whoa…not even close. I had a c-section and was confined to my house, my baby never slept and I actually remember telling my friend, “Why did I do this”. I want my old life back”!! That lasted a few weeks though and then I started to feel a little more like myself. I think it is important to start with the small things. Make sure you get a shower everyday, go to the store without the baby, even just a 20 minute trip. Also, getting out with the baby is hard at first but it can make you feel like a human again when you do.

    Anyway, all that to say that it does get better, slowly but surely. And if it doesn’t, don’t feel badly about trying alternate methods!!

  • Molly

    So glad you posted this. I just had my daughter sept. 5th and you know everything you read says you should feel better 2 weeks after. I was getting worried i’d never feel better. I think i finally am.. I also have a 2 year old and ive just been overwhelmed and guilty that i cant do stuff with him like i used to. My husband works 13 hour days so he is exhausted by the time he gets home. Anyway it feels good to vent. Hopefully our hormones straighten out sooner then later..I want to feel like myself again!

  • Thinking about you and praying for you! I’ve never had a baby, but I’ve experienced the regular old blues from time to time (depression runs in my family) and it can be such a scary thing, so I feel for you. Also, I read so many blogs where new mommies make it all look so easy – I think “Well, shoot, I could do that!”, but I’m sure it’s not reality and appreciate your honesty. I have no doubt that you are an incredible mom and remember the saying “this too shall pass”. It gets me through anything!

  • Sending you big hugs. Still pregnant over here but very happy that you wrote this. I think more people feel this way than not. These hormones never leave us alone huh? Sending you some big hugs!

  • Yes! I actually struggled on and off the entire first year of my first child’s life. In fact, I agree with Suzanne about still experiencing the blues once in a while – being a mom is tough!
    It is SUCH a massive life change, and no matter how many mom friends you have or how much experience you have with babies, nothing can prepare you for it.

    It’s wonderful that you’re recognizing these feelings and doing what you can to feel better (napping, exercising). Also, kudos to you for being so honest. It’s so hard to admit having a baby is hard when everyone acts like it’s 100% pure joy all the time. I’m sure there are a lot of mommies reading this who now feel so much less alone about how they’re feeling :)

  • *Hugs* I totally know what you are feeling and I went through the exact same thing when each of my kids were born. I thought the same thing you did, I should be happy, why am I so sad? But, it DOES get better!!! Pretty soon you’ll be sleeping and the sleep deprivation stage will be just a memory :)

  • Welcome to motherhood. My son arrive nearly 7 weeks early and I had a MAJOR case of baby blues and did not understand what was going on. I felt guilty that he came early (it wasn’t my fault), I felt bad I didn’t get to organize everything the way I wanted to before he came (I am total type A) and it was the dead of winter and I couldn’t get out much. It was soooo hard. I cried. I tried to sleep. It didn’t get better for me until the weather got better and I was able to get outside for walks and get back to exercising. I always check on my friends who have babies to see how they are feeling because baby blues are real! Thank you for sharing. Try to get fresh air and do a tiny something for yourself. It will get better!

  • thank you for sharing your experiences. my son was born via c-section (after 3 hours of pushing; he was stuck!) on april 13 so he’s almost 6 months old. i definitely went through some major baby blues for several weeks. it was hormones, plus c-section recovery, plus lack of sleep. you are not alone, this is normal! but it IS a good thing to ask for help and to talk with others about how you’re feeling. we are here for you! it will get better, but it is hard when you’re in the midst of it. please hang in there! :)

  • Your daughter is adorable. She is so so cute.

    I’m glad you guys are both doing pretty well! What you are going through is common- good for you for sharing how you’re feeling. Hang in there! :)

  • Erin Allen

    So glad you posted about this! Im still pregnant obviously but already feeling worried that Im going to have the baby blues. I have blue days now and ponder my decision to get pregnant. We also live away from family and in a tiny house and Im nervous about bringing a newborn into this situation. You pretty much only read and hear about this overwhelming joy new moms feel but I think baby blues and moments of doubt are more of the rule, not the exception. Hang in there!

  • I don’t have a baby myself [and probably have a couple of more years without] but I’ve heard from family members and friends that they’ve had a case of these “baby blues” too. They actually compared it to a wedding [because I just got married]- you spend months and months preparing and within a blink of an eye, it’s over and you’re kind of just left wondering “what now?!” Hang in there, you’ve got a beautiful bundle of joy!!!

  • Thank you so much for this candid post. I’m currently pregnant with my first child and am a pretty type A, high stress person in general so I am a bit worried that the baby blues will hit me too once I’m contending with sleep deprivation, etc. If I do, I’ll try to remember that it’s a pretty common occurrence. I wish you all the best as you adjust to motherhood :) She’s beautiful!

    • dont worry about it..you may not feel the baby blues at all! one of my best friends felt totally fine after her baby was born. if you do though, definitely try to remember it will pass! its hard to think about it when you’re going through it..but it WILL pass. congrats btw.. :)

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