Not that I’m well qualified to give pregnancy advice (who is really?), but I still wanted to share my first trimester experience with you guys now that I’m well into my 2nd.
Even if you’re not pregnant or never have been, I’m sure you’ve heard about the horrors of the first trimester. You will feel SO sick you can’t even get off the bathroom floor, you’re so tired your eyes won’t open, you’re disgusted by every food ever in the history of food, sore boobs, and the list goes on.
So, obviously, I was expecting some serious nausea…but it never came. I did feel some other things..but overall, I felt pretty darn good.
Which scared me.
I swear everyone else I talked to and everything I read online always pointed out the incredible nausea…but I wasn’t feeling any?
At one point I even read that women who feel nauseous carry healthier babies. What the hell? So was I not carrying a healthy baby?
My husband thought I was nuts for wanting to feel sick, but I just felt scared. It’s so easy (especially in the first trimester) to be scared all the time.
Anyway, I tried not to let it bother me since I wasn’t having any serious problem (i.e. blood or severe cramping…which btw, some blood is normal…isn’t that messed up??) We went to the doctor around 10 weeks to hear the heartbeat which I was SO looking forward to. I just wanted some reassurance that everything was indeed fine.
I jumped up on the table and she set up her equipment. She placed the heart rate monitor on my belly but all we heard was swooshing. I swear it felt like the longest moment of my life. It was probably only like, 2 minutes, but felt like forever. I knew right away we weren’t going to hear the heartbeat and it made me so sad.
The doctor assured us that sometimes you just don’t hear a heartbeat…but obviously it still stressed me out to the max. I think she saw some tears in my eyes because she ordered us an ultrasound that day. So, we headed over to the hospital and finally got our first ultrasound done.
To say it was amazing would be an understatement. There was a baby in there. We clearly saw arms and legs flailing around…a head…and yes, a sweet heartbeat. He or she was moving around like crazy…looking perfectly healthy! It was incredible. Honestly, it makes me tear up just writing this.
While I was sitting there on the table, I told the doctor how I wasn’t feeling nauseous and what did that mean..? I also told him about all the other things I had been reading online and he looked at me and said:
“what you’re describing is a perfectly healthy pregnancy. My advice to you is to stop reading those boards online. Most people that post things have bad or weird experiences so you have to keep in mind all the other women who have perfectly healthy pregnancy’s and don’t post a thing about them.”
Hm…good point.
That discussion with him was sort of a wake up call for me. He was right. I’ve never posted a thing online so if I haven’t, there have to be thousands of other women who also never do. Most pregnancy’s are healthy and all I can do is take care of my body the best I can.
So that’s basically my advice to you future mommy’s and daddy’s out there (especially first timers). Knowledge is power…but too much knowledge can drive you bat shit crazy. I guess this doesn’t just apply to pregnancy. I’m sure a number of you (I know I have) have diagnosed yourself with something crazy because of WebMD right?
Obviously, you’ve got to take care of yourself and your body. But take things you read online with a grain of salt and if you think something is wrong, go see your doctor!
After our ultrasound, I still check TheBump.com every week to read about what week I’m in in pregnancy but that’s it. I don’t check on every feeling I get, or cramp, or whatever, because a world of crazy pops up. Pregnancy can be stressful enough without the internet. It’s not easy, but just keep in mind every pregnancy is different. You might feel like crap…or you may not….both situations can result in healthy pregnancies and babies.
At our last doctor’s appointment (I was 14 weeks), she plopped the heart rate monitor down and we heard that heartbeat right away. So, yep, there’s a baby growing in there!
I just try to remind myself to do the best I can to take care of my body. Other than that, my body’s got it covered. It’s amazing what we’re capable of isn’t it?
Have you found the internet to be a powerful tool or has it stressed you out in the past?
Oh girl, I am pregnant with my 2nd and will tell you that I still freak out in the hours leading up to every dr’s appointment – I just want to see/hear the baby’s heartbeat and then I’m good to go! With my first, I found out I was pregnant really early (just about 4 wks) but I’m so irregular that we had no idea how far along I was. The 1st dr’s appointment was terrible b/c he couldn’t see anything in my belly – just that my uterus was prepared for a baby – but there was nothing. I had to go for tests which came back inconclusive (checked my hormone level). So for about a week, we weren’t even sure I was still carrying the baby. Thankfully, by about 5 1/2 wks, we saw the baby =)
When are you due? I think we must be pretty close!!! =)
uhhhh how stressful!! its such a frustrating thing sometimes bc in most scenarios, there’s nothing u can do about it! its like, you can control everything in your life…except for that hah. but im glad it turned out okay for you!!
im due 9/8 what about u? do you know what you’re having? i can’t wait to see that baby again on the ultrasound…that is the coolest thing ever!!
Ugh why don’t doctors just skip the doppler and go right to the ultrasound at early appointments?! It could save a lot of panic! I am 9 weeks and have my 2nd appt next Monday. My first was just paperwork and bloodwork so I’m really nervous for this next one. I need a visual that there is indeed a little baby in my belly 🙂 Of course I’ll be worrying all weekend long and if I get there and they pull out the fetal heart rate doppler, I’m sure panic will ensue.
i know its impossible not to..but dont worry!! if they do the fetal HRM and dont hear anything…it doesnt necessarily mean anything. i know thats easier said then done….but it happened to me and turned out fine!!
congrats btw…so exciting!! 🙂
I am 15 weeks with my second, and even though I have been sick enough that my doctor diagnosed me with hyperemesis, am in maternity pants and have the whole gamut of symptoms, I still needed to hear that heartbeat to be reassured that there was a baby growing in there!
haha i agree!! even though im definitely gaining weight and think i may have felt him or her? i just want to see that they’re okay…totally understand. i wish i had an ultrasound machine at home haha
The internet, books, magazines, and sometimes the doctors can drive you crazy for sure. And guess what, every pregnancy is different. I have 3 little ones at home and every single one of my pregnancy was different. There are the basic red flags that you should look for but otherwise you should just focus on enjoying this awesome experience in life and let your body do what it is suppose to do.
I agree with just doing an ultra sound first. It would put peace in alot of mommy’s minds I know that. But I suppose they are just too expensive in the insurance company’s eye. Whatever. It is always something.
I will continue to pray for you and your little blessing. Enjoy everyday of your pregnancy good and bad, each day is an amazing blessing.
I work as a critical care nurse and the doctors actually warn families about looking things up on the internet… most of the diagnosis we give are scary enough.
You could head out to C-wood and get an ultrasound anytime you want at the clinic. 🙂
PS. If you think the pregnancy advice online is crazy, just wait till you get to the advice for after the kid comes out. Totally bonkers.
I’m due less than 3 weeks after you – 9/27 =) =)
I just wanted to thank you for posting this! I recently had my first positive at-home preg test. My husband and I are excited and trying to learn a lot before our first dr appointment, but it’s good to have some perspective about what you can find online. Thanks for your reassurance. Best wishes to you and yours!
ahhh yay!! congrats!!! isnt it so exciting/crazy???
i appreciate ur comment. i basically just wanted people to know that you can experience different symptoms…for me, i thought it was weird i was lacking in the sickness department but it was totally fine. the internet can for sure help, but can also make u paranoid!!
congrats again…sooo exciting! 🙂
Hi. I just found your site and saw this post and wanted to tell you that I had great experiences with my birth month board on babyfit.com (part of spark people). I found it helpful and there was a mix of other first timers (my little one is 14 months now and not quite as little 😉 and. Experienced moms. It was a good outlet for me. Hope that you an find something like that if sounds good t you. Good luck on your race and congrats one your impending baby. It’s all pretty amazing and soon worth every worry and discomfort!
awesome ill check it out!! thanks for the recommendation!
Thank you so much for this advice. I am pregnant for the first time and it seems like everything I read or every person I talk to is trying to scare me one way or another. I really needed this.