I had so many cute outfits picked out for when I was home a couple weeks ago. Since I was headed to Arizona, laying out by the pool was definitely on the agenda so I also packed a bikini. Ready to impress my friends with my killer style, I threw on my first outfit of the trip. It was a tan, pencil mini-skirt with a loose fitting black tank top. In my mind, it looked really cute together. I think in real life, it had a lot of potential except for the fact that the skirt felt uncomfortably tight.
I thought that was a little strange considering just a few months ago, I wore this skirt all the time to work and it fit just fine. Since it was too tight, I tossed it aside, forgot about it, and moved on to the next outfit. This time I was trying white capri pants with the same black tank top. It would have looked great with these mega black heels except the pants were too tight.
Okay, now I was in somewhat of a panic mode. Why are none of my clothes fitting? They all must have shrank in the dryer…it’s just a weird coincidence. I’m sure it has nothing to do with my weight…
I wanted to lay by the pool as soon as possible so the day after I got there, I threw my bikini on and ran outside. First thing I noticed was, “Wow, my boobs look huge!” That’s never a bad thing, so I moved on. While I was moving on (literally walking outside), I experienced the not-so-great feeling of my thighs rubbing together. Don’t get me wrong, my thighs touch, they always have, but I’ve never noticed it much before. Maybe it was the heat?
Or maybe I’ve just gained a couple lb.’s.
We all have our happy weight. The weight we feel comfortable, confident, and good at. I am by no means saying I’m fat (I’m really not looking for attention here…just being honest), but I have gained some weight and I don’t feel good about it. It’s really hard to get yourself out of that negative mindset if you’ve gained weight. You (by you, I mean me) just feel bad about. Not sexy, not attractive, just overall not good. Luckily, I have a husband who disagrees with me so it lifts my spirits…but only temporarily. The negative voices (er, I mean voice) in my head are overpowering and usually take me down.
I went to the gym today and just felt fat. My shorts felt tight…they rode up my thighs…it was unbearably hot and humid outside (which doesn’t help the situation) so things were not looking up. Until I started to try and think rationally about this “situation” and keep emotions out.
I am in control of my body. If I continue to feed it crap, I’m probably going to gain weight and feel terrible. If I feel so terrible now (which I kind of do) then I need to take control of myself and eat better. No one is forcing me to eat cookies or carbs all day long. It’s definitely easier said than done, at least for me. But ultimately, I’m the only person who can help or hurt the situation, so I’m going to do so.
I’m trying to take it day by day. Just concentrate on healthy, fresh foods each day. I recently got a job at a bakery so that clearly won’t help, but like I said, I’m in control of what I eat, I don’t need pastry’s and cookies. Since it’s summer time, there are tons of fruits and veggies at my disposal so hopefully this shouldn’t be a problem! I’ll try to concentrate on fresh foods I like and incorporate them more in my diet. For example, I am loving chickpeas, olives, cucumbers, avocados, feta and balsamic vinegar lately, so I’ll eat it more! I’m calling it a salad without the lettuce. I don’t need lettuce to eat healthy if that’s not what I like!
I’ll also try to stick to making smoothies at home instead of buying them. They’re usually just as good and most likely less caloric.
Since you don’t drop weight by just thinking about it (unfortunately) somehow I need to keep myself motivated. Maybe a new workout outfit?
Okay, probably not Lululemon but the next best thing…Target!
Or maybe just a low cut dress that shows off my big boobs while I still have them…? 🙂
That oughta do it! 🙂
Are you at your happy weight? Is it a struggle to stay there?